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The proven hope God gives is found in the fact that He changes us when we ask Him too. Hope that He does indeed gift us with unquestioning confidence despite pain; and a deep running river of calm trust in the face whatever tempests might come. He transforms us- lifting our minds above limited perspective to gasp the limitless possibilities of the heavens.
Far beyond the physical pain, one of the hardest things is ongoing internal agony. But what joy that we are never left alone with this. God is our shield and constant deliverer. He does not save us from the fire, but in it the midst of it. No matter the circumstances or the outlook, He does provide what is truly best for us.
He empowers us with His strength to meet every hardship. Just like the Pentecost for the apostles and the latter rain will be before the time of trouble- we can trust Him. Even stronger then our own instincts for self-preservation is His fathomless care for us.
As He helps to grow, we can surrender those self-persevering instincts and desires for a pain-free life. With His grace, we can let Him carry the knowledge of our horrific experiences and trust that all His promises are still true.
We are called to lay down our ambitions for the singular purpose of following in His steps. If He leads us towards what we are most afraid, we must simply let go and let Him carry us through it and we will be alright.
Sunset is almost here and I’m off work. With glee, I hoist Bird to his post on my shoulder, snatch my guitar bag, and make a quick exit to my car for our ritual. A short drive finds me parking by the hill at CA and trying to coax Bird to go outside with me for the third time today. I’m demanding on little indoor-loving birds ;)
I find our favorite patch of grass and pull out my guitar while Rabbit settles into his preening. The clouds shroud the sun and obscure the sunset colors that I often look to for music inspiration. This evening the air is tingling fresh as it sweeps over summer grass, heralding the promise of rain. Mmm. It more than makes up for any sunset splashed across the sky canvas. A gentle thunder rolls from one horizon to the other. My fingers pluck the strings while dark blue clouds tumble and dance towards me. I lean my head back and breathe deep the scent-colors of coming rain and evergreen. Intuitively, my fingers find chord-colors to match. Another gentle thunder softly calls across the expanse. I echo it with my lowest string while I play the waltz of scent-colors on the higher strings.
Looking up and to my left, I see a beautiful streak of rain like a blue bride’s veil shimmering. I accompany it as it flows in the wind. The breeze, now steady, carries only the scent of almost here rain. Bird notices and stops preening. My fingers tease the strings in a quickening syncopated style as little raindrop feet patter towards me. Bird starts to worry about getting wet as I hurry to conclude the rain-color song. Now big drops of sky collide against the Earth. I stash my guitar in its bag and rush for the car. Bird leans forward with all his might as if to say “Faster Mom. Faster! I’m melting!!”
Just as we duck inside the car, the veil of rain is upon us. It encompasses the little valley in a cleansing deluge deserving of its own unique song. It is all one long symphony with numerous movements in the ongoing and changing theater of nature.